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Dear Diary: Color me Teal

It’s Friday.

According to itunes I have listened to Don’t You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds 1333 times. That’s just ridiculous. There are other songs in the world.

It’s supposed to be really hot in certain parts of the country today. It’s supposed to be 119 in Phoenix and 127 in Death Valley. I’m glad I don’t live there. Yesterday it got up to 100 here. With the humidity/heat index is was 107. It’s only June people and Summer just started.

Last night the electricity went out for a little bit. Oh hell no bitches. It would be so awful if it was out for 4 days like it was back in December. About 1/10 of the state lost power on Christmas Day in 2012. It was cold. But, I can handle the cold a whole lot better than I can handle the heat.

The whole heat thing reminds me of that episode of The Twilight Zone. That one with Lois Nettleton. It was called The Midnight Sun. It’s one of my favorite episodes. It might actually BE my favorite episode.

Lately I’ve been thinking about how much I want to go back to D.C. I’ve only been there once. It was my birthday present to myself 4 years ago. It was fabulous. I spent most of my time in the art museums. I wasn’t real hip on the Air and Space Museum. It was okay, but there were just so many people there.
My favorite place was the Smithsonian American Art Museum. I was like, “I want to live here”.

Reynolds Center Architecture

Electronic Superhighway: Continental U.S., Alaska, Hawaii by Nam June Paik was my favorite.

When I was it in person for the first time I almost had an orgasm. Art does that to me. Paintings, sculpture, architecture and design. Sometimes I’m a big crybaby about it.

Friends: Why are you crying?
Me: It’s a MONET you uncultured hayseed!

In one of the museums I got in trouble by a security guard because I touched a van Gogh painting. I don’t care. He is now forever in my soul.

I wish that I was a talented artist, but I’m not. Sure I can through a bunch of paint on a canvas and go, “Look, I did a Jackson Pollock”, or, “Look, I did a Mondrian”, but I sure don’t have the natural talent for verisimilitude. I envy people that do. Of course, if I did have that natural ability, then I probably wouldn’t have any interest in it. It’s funny how that works.

My favorite color is #008080. That’s the hex color number. The actual color name is teal.

teal

I don’t know why I like it so much. Maybe it’s because it reminds me of the ocean or because it was a popular mid-century color.

This is what is looks like in text.

I love changing font colors. I don’t know why I don’t do it more often.

Oh yeah, because it takes so much damn time.

Dear Diary

the sunJust got home from work. Truck day. I went in at 6. It got hot early. It’s supposed to be 100 today. With the humidity I’m sure it will appear to be a lot hotter. I’m not sure what the hottest weather is that I’ve ever been it, but one time when I was living in Vegas the thermometer at the convenience store across the street from where I lived showed 121. No humidity. It wasn’t extemely horrid. It just felt like the back of my shirt was on fire. Like I was in an oven. This crap today was a lot more uncomfortable.

I watched Big Brother last night. There is a guy from Arkansas on there. He’s from Conway. That’s where I went to college. That’s also where Kris Allen, one of the winners of American Idol, went to college. We went to the same high school too. Decades apart of course. This Arkansas guy seemed okay. I don’t really see him staying around that long. I could be wrong though.

This tan I have makes me look like farmer Joe from Hicksville. Everything is white (or whatever shade of caucasian I am) except for the head, neck and half of the arms. They’re brown. I look like I should be behind a mule-drawn plow.

tan bob 1

Who would you be best friends with on Gilligan’s Island?

Who would you be best friends with on Gilligan’s Island?

When I was younger I used to think that the castaways had died in the storm and that the island was their Heaven. Then they got rescued. There goes that theory.
They didn’t get rescued during the series. They made a movie about it years later. I guess they finally figured that they HAD to since they just left them stuck there. They would have had to do the same thing on The Fugitive if David Janssen had never caught the one-armed man. I just hate it when tv shows end abruptly with no story line resolutions.

Anyway, sure they got rescued in that crappy tv movie… but then, OMG, the dumbasses go on another boat trip – ugh, why?- and then get shipwrecked again on the same island. I don’t know what the odds of that happening in real life are, but in tv land it’s even money. I guess they’re still there. Unless they got rescued in another tv movie and I missed it because I was drunk or something.

I guess I should answer the question. Who would I be best friends with? Well, right off the bat I can eliminate the Professor. Sure he’s smart and all, but he’s boring. In the first season he didn’t even get acknowledged in the opening credits. How boring do you have to be to have that happen? Especially when there are only 7 people on the show. So yeah, he’s out.

skipperThen there is Gilligan. Okay fine, they named the island after him. But why would I want to be best friends with somebody who is so stupid? He was always screwing everything up. Sure he had a good heart and all of that, but still…

Ginger. No.
Mary Ann. No.

That leaves the Skipper and the Howells. The Skipper was a sweetheart. Well, when Gilligan wasn’t goofing up everything. But, he was always making people work and stuff. Let’s do this. Let’s do that. Let’s try to fix the boat.

So now we have the Howells. She’s a hoot and he’s just downright hilarious. They spend most of their time lounging, trying on hats and playing golf. That’s fun. They’re the real reason for the shipwreck you know. If they hadn’t have brought all that fuckin’ shit along (trunks and trunks of clothes and money) that boat totally could have outrun that storm. But noooo, they have to weigh it down with all of their crap. So now they’re stuck on an island where their clothes are always pristine and freshly pressed even though they don’t have an iron. I’ve never seen one at least. Maybe the professor made one out of coconuts and Gilligan used that bicycle made out of bamboo to power it.
And…they’re never dirty. How do they do that? Those people on Survivor look like homeless pigs after 3 days. These jokers look like they came straight out of Mercede’s Fashion Week.

howell 1So, since Mr. Howell has the best clothes – and best friends let you borrow their clothes – I’ll have to pick him. Even though he IS the real reason they were stuck on that stupid island.