Dear Diary

today I sawToday is Tuesday. I did laundry. Big la de da. I also ate some potato chips, which I shouldn’t have, but did anyway. I also had a bologna sandwich. I didn’t put any of that spread I bought on it because that shit was nasty. It said that it was American’s no. 1 spread, but I think they lied. It had a wierd aftertaste. I should have just gotten mayonnaise, but that’s kinda gross to. So, I didn’t use anything. plain. Just like everything else around here.

Last night I watched the Tony Awards. I had DVRd it. The show ran over so I didn’t get to see the last award because it cut off. Of course. What else is new. I blame Cicely Tyson. I mean, I like her and all that, but her speech was commensurate with that of William Henry Harrison’s inauguration speech. His speech was almost 2 hours. Then he got sick and died 30 days later. That’s what happens when you give a longwinded speech, outside, in the snow and freezing cold, without a hat. Anyway, thanks Cicely (sarcasm). At least you had the good sense to be inside. But girlfriend, THAT DRESS!

Cindy Lauper also won. I like her. Well, except when she was on Celebrity Apprentice. I can only take celebrities when they are in their artistic atmosphere. When they become real people doing real stuff (not that Celebrity Apprentice has remotely ANYTHING to do with reality) I’m like, “ugh”. Just read a script of something.

Work called earlier. I didn’t answer the phone. I usually do. I knew what it would be about.

“ummmm Bob, so and so is a big fat irresponsible loser and didn’t show up for work. Can you come in”?

I let it go to voicemail. It was my boss. She was just telling me that I was approved for a work credit card. Like THAT couldn’t wait. It’s not like I was going to rush down there on my day off and buy everything in the frickin’ store. Sometimes they call about the stupidest stuff. One time they wanted to know my t-shirt size. Why? We wear our own clothes. Why do you need to know what size t-shirt I wear? Also, you see me all of the time. There are only like 4 sizes for guys. Can’t you tell by just seeing me every day. duh.

Last night on Wheel of Fortune, one of the contestants was so short that she had to bring somebody along to spin for her. That’s the third time I have seen that. Not once did the spinner assistant get a bankrupt of lose a turn. I was impressed. With some of the contestants that I’ve seen, that’s ALL they get.
One of the puzzles was Battle Creek, Michigan. Battle Creek was almost all of the way spelled out. One lady said Battle Creek monument or something like that. I couldn’t hear exactly what she said because I was crunching on some M & Ms. But it wasn’t Battle Creek Michigan. It was something dumb that made her look stupid.

It’s already in the 90s today. ick. Oh yeah, and it’s humid.


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