How My Childhood Was Exactly Like The Brady Bunch

vaseThe boys had a clubhouse and the girls invaded it.
I had a treehouse and my sisters friends invaded it.

Jan was allergic to Tiger’s flea powder.
My sister was allergic to cats.

The Brady kids got the measles.
I got the Chicken Pox.

The Brady kids got a color tv with Green Stamps.
I got a jigsaw puzzle with Green Stamps.

Greg ran for student body president…and won.
I ran for student body president…and lost.

Carol got laryngitis around Christmas.
I got pneumonia around Christmas.

Marcia got braces.
I got braces.

Alice sprained her ankle when she stepped on some Chinese Checkers.
I broke my arm when I fell at the skating rink.

Marcia and Greg babysat their siblings…and were responsible.
I babysat my siblings…and was irresponsible

Marcia had a slumber that almost got cancelled.
I had a slumber party that DID get cancelled.

Peter broke his mom’s favorite vase.
I broke my mom’s favorite elaborate city carved into an elephant tusk.

Cindy was a tattletale.
I was on the receiving end of a tattletale.

Cindy got teased by Bubby Hinton.
I got teased by everybody.

Bobby fell out of a treehouse and became afraid of heights.
I fell out of bed and became afraid of heights.

Bobby played the drums.
I played the drums.

Greg got busted for smoking.
I got busted for smoking.

Jan bought a wig.
I bought a hat.

The Bradys went to the Grand Canyon.
I went to the Grand Canyon.

Bobby and Cindy got lost at the Grand Canyon.
My parents wanted me to get lost at the Grand Canyon.

Greg bought a piece of crap car.
I bought a piece of crap car.

Peter wanted a new personality.
I wanted a new personality. But didn’t get it.

Bobby and Cindy tried to break the teeter totter record.
I broke my dad’s Ventures record.

Greg got hurt playing football.
I got hurt watching football.

Jan got glasses and hated them.
I got glasses and despised them.

Marcia wanted to get Davy Jones for the prom. And did.
I wanted somebody to go to the prom with me. And nobody would.

Peter wrote for the school newpaper and got a D on his science final.
I read the school newpaper and got a D on my Shop final.

Marcia did a makeover on her dorky friend Molly.
I wanted somebody to make me over.

The Bradys went to Hawaii and found a taboo Tiki idol.
I went to Guam and found weapons left over from WWII.

Bobby was a bratty hall monitor.
I was a brat who got in trouble by the hall monitor.

Cindy tried on her mom’s earrings and lost them.
I tried on my mom’s earrings and got sent to the shrink.

Greg got grounded.
I got grounded.

Marcia got hit in the nose with a football.
I got hit in the crotch with a football…and baseball…and frisbee…and golf club

Marcia worked at Haskells Ice Cream Parlor.
I worked at Baskin Robbins.

Bobby got a bucket of green paint dumped on him.
I spilled green paint on the carpet of my bedroom.

Jan had no talent as a dancer.
I had no talent as a dancer.

Bobby and Peter saw a UFO.
I saw a UFO.

Gregs hair turned orange when he used Bobby’s crappy hair tonic.
I dyed my hair orange on purpose.

The similarities are SPOOKY!

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